Hello, Old Friends

Hello, again, everyone!

Yes, I'm back. It's good to be back. And I have quite a few stories I could tell. I guess the most important one for now is that I have discerned that the religious life is not for me at this time. I spent six beautiful months with the Servants of Mary, and I wouldn't trade that time for the world. But now it's time for me to be home. I'm excited to see what the Lord has planned for me.

One of my biggest blessings has been to be back with my family in time for the birth of my new baby brother, Adrian. He is so tiny and cute, you guys! He's so quiet, too. I'm used to having fussy siblings, but so far, he's been so chill. Let's hope that's one thing that doesn't change in a few months!

I'm so happy to be back. I didn't know if I would ever have a chance to connect with you guys again, and now I do. I'm so thankful that God gives me what I need at the right times.

So let's talk! How are you all? I know how much can change in half a year. How has life treated you? How has the Lord blessed you and shown you He loves you? Can't wait to hear from you!

- Maddie

So Long, Farewell

Dear friends,

I have some news for you all, and it is a bit bittersweet.

In January this year, I had the pleasure of meeting the Servants of Mary, Ministers to the Sick. They are an order of religious sisters whose ministry is a kind of hospice care: they go to the homes of the sick and the dying and give them overnight care in their last days. I was drawn to this ministry and to the joy that these sisters have. The vocations director for the order invited me to stay a few days at the convent to experience their daily life and their ministry. It was a very blessed time. It was funny because I actually ended up staying an extra night - my car had to go to the repair shop and the sisters drove an hour and a half to get me home! They joked that it was like the Sound of Music when the sisters sabotage the Nazis' cars. :)

After much prayer and discernment, I decided to apply to the order and was accepted at the end of this past July. On Friday, September 1st I will enter the postulancy! I am excited for this new adventure with Jesus. I still have a long way to go in my discernment, and I would appreciate very much any prayers you could offer for me. You will be in mine.

It has been such a joy to write here in this, my little piece of the internet. I won't delete this blog, but please be aware that I will not have access to the internet for at least a year or possibly more than that. I don't know if I will take up writing on here again, but thank you for reading my past posts and this one now. I am happy that I could share this time with you and I'm so grateful to everyone who took the time to read the random things I talked about here.

I didn't think it would be right to end without including one of my writings. I wrote this in my first attempt at long free verse which is a continuing story. I moved back in with my family at the beginning 

of June, and this was inspired by my time spent with my family these past few months.

Dad calls across the long
field of grass,
waving in the warm evening breeze,
for me to bring the van around.
The big purple van with
fifteen seats, which is older than
me.

The van is
easy to maneuver around in,
even through the waist high grass,
even though I have not driven it
in almost a year.
I learned to drive
in this van.
My hands fit comfortably around the
steering wheel,
as I pull around the yard
to the back.

Dad motions me forward as I pull up
to where he is standing
out by the lagoon 

with the tractor.
The cardinal red tractor that doesn’t stay running
for more than half an hour
before needing a jump again.

I pop the hood for him and then
roll down my window and
stick my elbow out and then
rest my chin on my arm and
look at the sunset that is staining the northwest sky
a clear orange; there is only a taste of darkness
and it is already eight o’clock.

My mind drifts
and I think how only a week ago I was
working at the old folks’ home
two hours away from here,
getting them ready for bed,
training the new girl who was to take my
place;
how when I got off work and went
straight home
to my one bedroom apartment,
I was completely
alone.

Tonight I’ll share a room with my two
sisters, and a bed with
the youngest,
and
I will be more comfortable than I was
last week.

I look up when the rumble of the
old tractor engine starts;
the vibrating sound is so deep
it seems to
move through my bones like an instrument.

Dad unhooks the cables from the
tractor and motions for
me to take the ones off the battery
on the van.
He hops on
the cardinal red lawn mower
before it decides it isn’t up for
the job, and I
slam the hood of the big purple van and
jump back up into the driver’s seat,
jumper cables in tow.

I swing the van around again 

to where it was parked before, 

and greet the dog with the orange and white patches
and let her kiss my hands,
and praise my little sister, who is riding her tricycle
and head inside and let my mother know
the tractor started on
the first try.

***

Dad works on the
grass every night this week
and little by little,
our yard looks less like it belongs to a house
we were away from for a year,
and better than it did
before we left.

I don’t feel as if I’ve ever been gone,
but at the same time,
I know I’ve changed.
It’s like
waking up from a dream
and suddenly being wiser
than you were before.

And maybe you miss it a little bit now,
but at the same time,
you know you were not meant to
stay in your dream forever,
but to wake up and use the
wisdom you’ve acquired
and not let it waste.

I give my best wishes to you all. And now, for what may be the last time,

- Maddie

The Importance of Friendship

Hey, guys! How is life? I have been super busy and doing exciting things since I last wrote. And by exciting I mean I SPENT TWO WEEKS IN EUROPE WITH MY BEST FRIENDS FOR EASTER BREAK! I still can't quite believe it. It had been a dream of mine to visit Europe, especially with my friends, and I can't get over the fact that I've actually set foot there. I mean like, my body was actually walking around in London. Oh, and don't freak out, but my best friend and I went walking around London on my last day and we went to this market area and it was cool and stuff. And then I watched season 4 of Sherlock a few weeks after I got home, and I noticed that they shot a scene in the same marketplace that we visited! Yeah, I was pretty psyched!

Ahhh, England, I miss you. I miss the tube and the pubs and how still the nights were because not a shop was open. I miss the coffee shops and the parks and galleries and the walks. I miss how everything seemed so sophisticated and when I came back home I realized how rough and rugged home seemed. I miss the accents that made me feel like I was stepping into any audio book ever made or a gothic romance novel. And of course, I miss my friends. The ones I've known for almost half my life, and the new friends I made while I was there. I miss that I can never go back to those moments, but it's okay because I'm happy that I was able to experience them.

Mia, thank you for going into a pub and ordering chips and ice cream with me. Thank you for spending two hours on the first step of our hiking directions because something nobody can accuse us of is having too little determination. Thank you for navigating way better than I could, even though it must have been stressful. Thank you for talking out our feelings with each other without getting into fights. Thank you for waking up at 4 in the morning and literally running through the airport with me so that I could make my plane. Thank you for being the best friend I could ever hope for.

Ellie, thank you for cutting my hair, and for always asking if I was okay. Thank you for  being a holy woman of God and for understanding. Thank you for being my eyes when I literally couldn't see. ;)

via Pinterest

I watched the last season of Sherlock after my trip and, my word, it left me with so many feels. You can see all throughout the show how Sherlock goes from being an arrogant, selfish person with no friends, to having friends but still being selfish, to learning how people work and interact with each other and trying to emulate them. And then finally in the last season, we see how much Sherlock really cares. He is willing to put himself in harm’s way to help the people he loves. Even some of his gestures that would seem rude, are his way of showing care. For example, he tells John and Lestrade that he’s going to take a cab on his own and that they’ll have to catch another one. When they ask him why, he says, “Because I need to think, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

via Pinterest

I think a lot of this show is focused on human behavior. No matter how much we may think we are different, we all need relatively the same things. People who try to function on their own, quite frankly, cannot. We fall apart on our own. As much as we want people to think we don’t care that much about them, we do.

I've found that I need people. I don't know how dry and starving I am until I go a long time without conversation and then finally have one again. With someone who really cares about what I'm saying, who doesn't give the impression that I'm talking too much or bothering them. But the time is never enough, and I'm always afraid that if I ask for more, I will be asking them for too much. That it will ruin the good that we had and I will give the impression that I'm clingy. Or that I will find out that they don't care about me as much as I do about them. I think that's one of my biggest fears. Finding out that the attachment or bond I have with someone isn't as strong as I think it is. I'm afraid to move away, to trade the good I have now for something better because it's still a good that I will lose. I don't want people to think that they aren't important to me. But I'm scared that if we move apart they won't think of me at all. My greatest fear is forgetting people and memories, and people forgetting me.

We all need to be needed. We need other people, and we need them to need us. There is no human in history who has ever functioned well without having someone who could understand them, or who they could relate to. It's impossible for us to live isolated lives. But that's what we spend most of our lives saying - "I don't need help." Essentially, we push away what we need. We damage ourselves. That's why you should take all the help you can get and give all the help you can give.

via Pinterest

We’re never going to make it through this life alone. Even Jesus had friends. He had over 12. He didn’t do his ministry on his own. That’s why good Christian fellowship is so important. Have friends who inspire you, who push you, but who will also be there to listen in the times when you fail, or who buy chips and ice cream in a pub with you, or who ask if you're okay, or who make sure you never miss your prayer time. I'm telling you, those kind of people are the best you could hope for.

via Pinterest

- Maddie

Thoughts of Love // Part One

So, here goes another apology:

I'm so sorry that I never stick to my schedule, even when I say I'm going to. You guys don't deserve that.

I'm also going to say right now that there are times when I simply cannot write. The words won't come out, or if they do, they don't come out how I want them to, and I would rather you have nothing to read than say something that I really want to say in words that don't describe exactly what I really mean. I don't want to have to say, "You know a few weeks ago when I mentioned such-and-such? Okay, now I've thought of a better way to explain it."

So, that's why I haven't been posting lately. I'm not going to promise that there will be a post every Tuesday, but I'm also not going to say that I won't have a post schedule at all. So, let's just say that when I do post, it will be on Tuesdays, whether that be 3 Tuesdays in a row or 5 Tuesdays apart.

Now, Thoughts of Love // Part One

At first, I was going to combine a bunch of different thoughts about love all together in this post, but I think I'm going to make them into three or maybe more separate parts to be posted over the next few weeks; sometimes it's easier to process things in small bits instead of all at once. So here is part one. It wasn't meant to be a poem when I first wrote it: writing in short sentences on different lines helps me to process and write down my thoughts better. But then I realized that more of the lines rhymed than I'd thought, so it is practically a poem. :)

You don't always have to be the best.

It's not a competition to see

Who can show 

Who likes whom the most profoundly.

Is this love?

I think so.

I think it's being willing to do

Anything for the one you love,

And also being willing for them to do

Anything for you.

Love is me letting you be you

And you letting me be me

And neither of us feeling like we have to

Repay or outdo the other in 

Giving gifts or energy.

Have a great week, everyone! Thank you for reading. :)

- Maddie

Music Love // September 2016

Hello, lovelies!

Happy Fall, first of all! This is an exciting time of the year. There is actually a chill in the air, which just started on Sunday. I can finally start wearing boots and flannels and sipping hot drinks!

Today, I'm going to share some music that I've recently been loving. I won't say much about it. I'll just let it speak for itself :) Tell me what you think!

- Maddie

In Which I Come Back From Hibernation

Hello, everyone!

No, I didn't die.

Thanks for your concern.

I'm really sorry for the pain you've been going through not knowing when and/or if I was going to post again.

Nothing tragic has happened to keep me from blogging except for maybe living an adult life. I just haven't had much time, and when I have, I have preferred to use that time to relax my frazzled mind.

Did you know it was my blog's first birthday on July 16th, and I didn't even have a party for it? I know. Shame on me. I'm a terrible parent. No, I really do feel bad. Other bloggers have awesome celebrations planned for their blogs which sometimes go for a week, and they'll have tags, and giveaways for their followers (cause you can't really give your blog a gift, so giving one to the people who support you and your blog is the next best thing), etc. I did not even acknowledge my blog, say thank you to any of you, or even post in like a month. So I'm saying it now: Thank you all so much. You all mean a lot to me. I mean it. It means a lot that you read what I have to say and take time to say that you read it and that you have opinions on what I have to say, as well.

Guys, I'm really sorry. I want you to stay. I want to have things to talk about. I don't want to slip away from posting for so long that I think that no one will be interested if I do decide to post again. I don't want to have a reason to think, "It's too late, now." I feel like I've been a bad blogger, and I want to have a more consistent schedule and really try to stick to it. I've already lost one follower, and I don't want to lose you, too.

I really haven't even been writing fiction, so don't feel left out. My creative side has really been placed on the back burner because work has kind of been burning me out. I really hate it. Not work; I love my job. I hate not having inspiration. It's like I have no inspiration, but I don't even want it/am not even looking for it, but I want to want it and I hate that I don't. I don't want to lose the writer in me. I want to always feel the need to write. I don't know why I don't right now and it bothers me. I guess I need to try to write and the more I do the more inspired I will be.

So life has been really interesting. I've been making new friends. I've been finding my own clothing style. I got my hair cut a different way than I have before. I've been finding new music and movies and shows. I've been figuring out that the stuff my mom used to tell me was healthy for me actually does make me feel good when I eat it instead of when I eat crap. I've been driving all around and having to make my own decisions about what events to say yes to and what to pass up on. I've turned down a relationship. I've said goodbye to my best friends and hoped that I will see them before a year is up. I've had to budget. I've been doing spiritual direction with my priest friend and have to dig and find my weaknesses and my flaws and my sins and try to figure out what will help me overcome them. I've had to push my introverted self to socialize when I don't feel like it because I know I'll be thankful that I did later. I've been learning my limits and finding when I do need alone time. I've been learning who I am as a person and it's a hard journey but I'm glad that I have this opportunity.

I've had a lot of time to think since I've been on my own. I have some thoughts that I want to share, and which I will try to put into words worthy of reading and post soon.

I have approximately two minutes before my alarm rings and I'll have to get ready for work, so I'm going to have to wrap this up quick. I'm really happy to be back, and I have a few post ideas. I will always appreciate receiving requests from you guys about what to post about, so if you have any ideas, please let me know! I love you guys, and I'll see you next Tuesday!

P.S. Maybe we should start planning my blog's second birthday now?

- Maddie

Coffee Shop Chats - The Third

Yay! I was hoping that Tessa would post another of these. I love these chats! They're so fun. Click the link to see the rules for this link-up!

What I did this week

You won't believe it - I went on a mini road trip by myself! Wednesday was my day off of work, and I had heard that there was adoration outside in the evening around half an hour outside of the city I used to live in. The city was about 1 hr and 1/2 away, and I'd never driven anywhere that far on my own before, so I was nervous, but I made it with the help of my GPS and a phone call to my dad (but, really, guys, my dad is awesome). I arrived in the city in the afternoon around dinner time and was able to see my new baby cousin who is the most adorable little munchkin ever. I had dinner with my grandma, and stopped in at a bookstore before heading out to the church. I met a friend, and we sat together. Adoration was amazing. I was overwhelmed with the beauty of it - adoring our Savior out under the stars. I was able to go to confession, and it was a very peaceful time. I'm really glad I was able to go, even though it was so far away.

Also, that morning, I started spiritual direction with my priest friend who is pastor of the churches on the Reservation where my family is. The first session went well, and I'm excited for this new way to grow closer to God.

Food I've enjoyed made

Guys, I'm really bad in the kitchen, okay? I have been eating super simple things lately, because I don't want to waste food by cooking things that will turn out badly. So mostly sandwiches and cereal - I'm serious. Anyway, the other night I decided to try to make spaghetti. Let's say it wasn't a masterpiece. I think I cooked the noodles too long and the meat I tried to use for the sauce turned out to taste sour. I didn't want to get sick, so I threw the whole thing out and ate candy for dinner. That's a completely healthy alternative, what are you talking about? Ahem.

Drinks I've enjoyed

On the plus side, I found a really easy recipe for coffee vanilla milkshakes, and I've been loving those. *Goes to make one so I can take a picture for you to see* 

You're welcome

Music I've enjoyed

I've been noticing lately that my taste in music has changed a little. Or maybe I'm just discovering more music than I knew about before. Either way, I've been enjoying some music my aunt introduced me to, including Switchfoot, and Jack Johnson. Also, one of the only popular songs that I like right now is Hello by Adele. All the feels.

Movies I've enjoyed

Well, it's mainly been shows. I started watching Downton Abbey a few weeks ago, and I was like, "Oh, this is a cute show. Not much feels crushing going on, but I like it. It's interesting." And then came season 3 and I was like, "WHOA SLOW DOWN, NOW YOU'RE OVERDOING THE WHOLE FEELS THING. I TAKE IT BACK, I DIDN'T MEAN IT, GO BACK TO BEING THE INNOCENT LITTLE SHOW THAT YOU WERE AT THE BEGINNING!" I stopped watching it for almost a week just to recover from the shock and get over a character's death (and I had other things I needed to get done). I started season 4 on Saturday morning, and I cried through pretty much the whole first episode. But of course I'm still going to watch the rest. #nerdprobs

Currently loving

My job. Really, guys. I was so, so nervous before I started here. What if I had only liked the people at the old facility, and don't actually like being an aide wherever I go? I was so worried about the probability of being around younger coworkers than at my last job because I'm socially awkward I thought I worked better around older adults. And then I started work, and right away I loved it. I realized that I really do love being a CNA. I love the many different people I am able to work with - coworkers and residents. I love listening to their stories, and how each person has their own little quirks and preferences. I love being an aide, and I hope I'm able to do this for a long time. I really thank God for this blessing because if I didn't like my job, I don't know how I'd make it through the next at least 8 months.

Currently hoping

That I am able to visit my family for Thanksgiving! I don't think that I'll be able to get Christmas off, since I just started working here, and they'll probably give the holiday to the people who worked it last year. So, Thanksgiving seems like the best option to aim for, because New Years is probably pretty big, too. So please pray that I am able to get off for a good few days around Thanksgiving so that I can go see my family!

Looking forward to

A trip to see my best friends Mia and Ellie and Esther in August! The former two are both getting back from World Youth Day and Ellie is also getting back from SPEC, where she worked as a missionary in England for a year. She's bringing her boyfriend, too, and I am excited to meet him in person. Mia and Ellie are both going back to SPEC towards the end of August, so this will be the last I will see them for a while. *Royal sulk because they're leaving me behind* I am really, really hoping to be able to go and visit them, possibly in February, so please pray that that works out, as well!

Quotes I'm enjoying

To Answer Some Questions

What's on your summer reading list?

Okay, so I stayed up till 4 am on Saturday night to finish To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han. Yes. Me. Staying up that late to finish a YA book. You know it must have been good. It was so beautifully written, and it felt so real. The dialogue sounded just like how teens talk now days. I could also relate so much to what Lara Jean was feeling when her sister left for college. In my case, I was the big sister who left, but I still felt her pain at being separated from the person she's spent her entire life with, and also the strain of all of the responsibilities she had to take on when Margot left. This book really spoke to me, because I'm going through a lot of what the characters in the book went through (even though I didn't write love letters that got sent out on accident). So, anyway, my quest for the summer is to be able to find and read the second book P.S. I Still Love You. Honestly, I don't really have anything else I'm planning on reading. I mean, I am going to read more, but I don't have something specific. I'm heading out to the library later to get a library card and I'm gonna look around while I'm there.

How did you celebrate the Fourth of July?

In all honesty, I did nothing to celebrate. I know. I'm a horrible citizen. But at work we had a 4th of July party for all of the residents and staff and their families on the 1st of the month, so that kind of counts.

Convo Starters

Do you have any big plans for this summer?

Is there some special project you're currently working on, or that you've just completed?

What's on your summer reading list?

How did you celebrate the Fourth of July?

Do you write more during the summer or take a break?

What do you drink at Starbucks on hot days?

Do you prefer summer or fall?

- Maddie

She's Complicated...And So Are You

I am such a complicated person.

Half of the time, no one really knows what's going on inside me, and on the surface I can just look like I want to have a good time doing whatever I feel like and I'll get to whatever is important later. Which is true in a way. But it's not all I'm made of.

I'm an introvert.

I will tell you things in writing that I would never say aloud.

I can look like all I'm doing is staring out the window while my cereal gets soggy in front of me, when in actuality I'm thinking about whether our surroundings shape our personalities or our personalities shape the way we see our surroundings. (And you would never know if I was not writing this.)

I can be crying my eyes out after a simple little argument, but that's not the whole reason why. A lot of the time, that one little fight could be all it takes to send me plummeting over the side of the emotional cliff when it's been a rough day (or week or month or few hours), and then it all just bogs down on me and I can't stop until I've cried about it all.

But to tell you the truth...

I don't even always understand me.

The only reason I'm able to tell you this is because I've thought this all out and tried to figure myself out. And I'm beginning to learn when we say, "God knows you the best," we are speaking truth. I don't think I will or can ever fully understand myself. If that's true, I can't expect myself to fully understand everyone else. And I sure as heck can't expect to understand God Himself fully.

But come to find out...

We don't need to fully understand someone, in order to love them.

Of course, yes, we must understand them as best we can. If I gave a random person on the street a hug and called that love, I'd be deceiving myself. Was that person's love language actually touch? Did they even like hugs? Maybe they would have felt love through words of encouragement. Or service. Or quality time. I can't do any random act for anyone and call it love. In order to love someone, you must find out the way they feel loved, not how much love you feel towards them when you are doing it.

But I don't have to figure it all out before I start to show them love. I don't have to completely comprehend the way their mind works before I can tell them, "You're amazing," or before I do their laundry for them.

So now it's your turn.

You are such a complicated person.

You could either be laughing with me one minute of the day when I make a joke at the "right" time, or if I told it at the "wrong" time, you would tell me it offended you. You can get angry, and I don't even know why. Sometimes, I do something that hurts you, and when I apologize, feeling horrible, you say not to worry about it. Sometimes, you'll "forgive me," but I know you really don't. You can eat the weirdest things, like pickles on popcorn and shrimp and peanut butter and jelly. Sometimes, I just don't get what you mean, even when it seems to make complete sense to you. I don't fully understand you. Sometimes, I don't at all. But I love you. And I know you love me.


Do you find it hard to love people, or to feel loved by people? What are some ways that we can all feel loved?

- Maddie

There and Back... and There and Back Again: The Current Story of My Crazy Life

Hello, my wonderful circle of friends! 

First off, how is everyone's summer so far? Congrats to the people who have graduated high school (like I have) and good luck for the fall, everyone, whether you're starting college, or another year of high school, or even middle school! And to those of us who are going to take a while off from school and take a breather, or just work, that's awesome, too!

So this post is about what's happening in my life right now. Because I keep saying that I'm going to write a post soon about this thing that happened the other day, or what I did yesterday, but I never follow through, and I have way too much that I could catch up on, and I would never get to this current point in life. So I've been thinking that I'm going to have to write a big recap post at the end of the year and tell all about the wonderful little things that have happened that I never had the chance to write about before. Sound good? And then next year, maybe I'll be able to start posting monthly wrap-ups. Your thoughts?

And now the actual post.

So, as you probably remember from this post, I started my first job at the beginning of April. Well, at the time that I took it, I knew that there was a slight possibility that my family would be moving away on another mission. But we were not 100% sure at the time, and I needed to have a way to pay back some people I owed (aka my parents), so I took it anyway. The first few days on the job, were terribly stressful. Switching my body over from days to nights was part of it. The other part was that there is so much pressure that comes with being a nurse aide because someone could literally die if you're not careful. Not to mention this was my first job, haha. 

Anyway, my co-workers were really amazing (shout out to C, J, D, M, A, and R, if you guys are somehow reading this), and helped me with little things that I probably should have known how to do but was too scared to do on my own. Their willingness to help was definitely what made me overcome my fear of accidentally killing someone, and I came to love my job and all the residents, even though working nights was still exhausting. That being said, it was heartbreaking when I found out that my family was indeed going to move after all. I had only been working there for about a month. I had just gotten down the residents' schedules. I was getting used to their personalities and their individual preferences, which could be so different and interesting to work with. I was just beginning to get really comfortable with my co-workers (I'm an introvert, and it takes time for me to open up to people). But for some reason, God didn't want me to continue on there. I am so grateful that He allowed me to have the job at that nursing home as my first. I learned so many things under the kind influence of people who were patient with me that I know I wouldn't have learned anywhere else. It was the perfect facility for me to learn at exactly what it takes to be a CNA.

So then, I graduated on May 21st! I still can't quite believe it. How did I grow up so fast?

You hope and wait for years and years for something, and then just when you're not thinking about it, it comes and surprises you out of nowhere. Anyway, I participated in my homeschool group's Mass and graduation ceremony - there were only five total of us Seniors! It was very nice, though. Lots of family and my best friends were there, and that's all I asked for :) Also, wow, people are generous when it comes to graduation gifts. Thanks so much, if any of you are reading this! And Mom and Dad, especially! I was so not expecting this, but... they gave me a laptop! I'm so blessed :D

    

 

           

             

Now comes the big news.

My family is serving at an Indian Reservation, and I am currently with them. We just arrived last week. However, a couple of weeks before we moved up here, my aunt had felt guided by the Holy Spirit to offer me a place to stay with her, so I could keep my CNA license in the State in which I was certified and not have to transfer it to the new State. We also didn't know if there would be any nursing homes hiring in the area where we would be living on the reservation. So a few days before the move, I interviewed at a nursing home in the town where I would live with my aunt, but I wouldn't find out whether or not I had gotten the position until after the move. I was still planning on going with my family to help settle in, and if I didn't get the job, I would obviously stay with them. 

Well, it turns out I did get the job.

And now I'm really scared because I'll be leaving my family for the first time. I'm going to be starting work at a new place, and I don't know if I'll get along wonderfully with my new co-workers or if it will be a less than pleasing experience. This facility is going to be twice the size of the one that I am used to, and I've never worked full-time on the day shift (praise God, though. I don't think I would do it if it were nights). I'll have bills to pay for the first time. I know that this is God's plan for me, I'm just scared about taking the step and heading into a new stage of life where I have absolutely no idea what could happen. I am moving in with my aunt and starting the new job in the middle of this month, so prayers would be so, so comforting.

In the meantime, I've been having a wonderful time here with my family, and I'm going to miss them and our mission partners and our parish priest so much! I feel like this is the perfect mission post for them, and am so excited to see what God has in store! 

Here are a few pictures that I've taken in the past few weeks. They include ones taken up until last Saturday!

           

        

                   

In conclusion

I've been a lot of places in the past two months. I went with my Dad to visit the Indian Reservation in April, and then came back home. After we decided that we did want to move to that mission, my aunt offered me a place to stay with her. I then had an interview at a facility in her city and stayed with her for a few days to see how I would like it if I did end up coming back to live with her after the move with my family to the mission. We traveled up here and have been at the mission for 10 days. The facility I interviewed with called me a week ago and offered me the job, so I'll be heading back to live with my aunt and start the job in the middle of this month. Hence, there and back, and there and back again (now that I read it, it should have been three times, but that would have been too long of a title anyway). I'm nervous but excited to see what God has next for me! Please pray for me as I start out on this new adventure, and I will be praying for you and whatever plans God has for you!

- Maddie