Hello, everyone!
No, I didn't die.
Thanks for your concern.
I'm really sorry for the pain you've been going through not knowing when and/or if I was going to post again.
Nothing tragic has happened to keep me from blogging
Did you know it was my blog's first birthday on July 16th, and I didn't even have a party for it? I know. Shame on me. I'm a terrible parent. No, I really do feel bad. Other bloggers have awesome celebrations planned for their blogs which sometimes go for a week, and they'll have tags, and giveaways for their followers (cause you can't really give your blog a gift, so giving one to the people who support you and your blog is the next best thing), etc. I did not even acknowledge my blog, say thank you to any of you, or even post in like a month. So I'm saying it now: Thank you all so much. You all mean a lot to me. I mean it. It means a lot that you read what I have to say and take time to say that you read it and that you have opinions on what I have to say, as well.
Guys, I'm really sorry. I want you to stay. I want to have things to talk about. I don't want to slip away from posting for so long that I think that no one will be interested if I do decide to post again. I don't want to have a reason to think, "It's too late, now." I feel like I've been a bad blogger, and I want to have a more consistent schedule and really try to stick to it. I've already lost one follower, and I don't want to lose you, too.
I really haven't even been writing fiction, so don't feel left out. My creative side has really been placed on the back burner because work has kind of been burning me out. I really hate it. Not work; I love my job. I hate not having inspiration. It's like I have no inspiration, but I don't even want it/am not even looking for it, but I want to want it and I hate that I don't. I don't want to lose the writer in me. I want to always feel the need to write. I don't know why I don't right now and it bothers me. I guess I need to try to write and the more I do the more inspired I will be.
So life has been really interesting. I've been making new friends. I've been finding my own clothing style. I got my hair cut a different way than I have before. I've been finding new music and movies and shows. I've been figuring out that the stuff my mom used to tell me was healthy for me actually does make me feel good when I eat it instead of when I eat crap. I've been driving all around and having to make my own decisions about what events to say yes to and what to pass up on. I've turned down a relationship. I've said goodbye to my best friends and hoped that I will see them before a year is up. I've had to budget. I've been doing spiritual direction with my priest friend and have to dig and find my weaknesses and my flaws and my sins and try to figure out what will help me overcome them. I've had to push my introverted self to socialize when I don't feel like it because I know I'll be thankful that I did later. I've been learning my limits and finding when I do need alone time. I've been learning who I am as a person and it's a hard journey but I'm glad that I have this opportunity.
I've had a lot of time to think since I've been on my own. I have some thoughts that I want to share, and which I will try to put into words worthy of reading and post soon.
I have approximately two minutes before my alarm rings and I'll have to get ready for work, so I'm going to have to wrap this up quick. I'm really happy to be back, and I have a few post ideas. I will always appreciate receiving requests from you guys about what to post about, so if you have any ideas, please let me know! I love you guys, and I'll see you next Tuesday!
P.S. Maybe we should start planning my blog's second birthday now?
- Maddie
