Love is Not Selfish

Do you know which people I admire most? The ones who want something so badly, but who have the self control to keep themselves from doing it. Respect for others and for themselves. And I think that is one thing the world today would do best to remember - at the end of the day, the world does not just comprise of you and your significant other. Just because you want to do something or feel passionately about something does not make it right to follow through on it. You may very well wish to have an affair, or elope, or hurt someone who has wronged you, but that does not make it all right to do. The people who want something and who know they could have it if they tried, but who realize it is not the right thing to do and don't do it are the people I would trust with anything.

I have four different examples from movies and books on this subject. The only thing I must warn you about is that the whole rest of the post is basically spoilers. So just beware. I'll write it again, just in case you skim this paragraph.

*Spoiler Alert*

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I can't tell you how much I love the last scene of Roman Holiday. Princess Anne and Joe Bradley both know they could forsake their duties and obligations in the name of love, but choose to stay in the places where they are needed. Mr. Bradley has everything that he needs to get back on his feet right in his hands, and he chooses to sacrifice that in order to do the honorable thing and respect the life of another. The last thing the princess wants to do is continue training as the heir to the throne, but she knows that is her role in life and accepts it. They could very well have run off with each other, but it would have been an act of selfishness, and they know it wouldn't have been right.

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In Downton Abbey, John Bates has obstacle after obstacle in trying to get a divorce from his unfaithful wife. His new love, Anna Smith, tells him several times that she would gladly become his mistress if he wanted her to. He says, “I know you, Anna Smith, and I love you, and that is not the right path for you. It won’t be long now.”

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Jane Eyre doesn't know Mr. Rochester has a living wife when she falls in love with him. They are literally standing at the altar, only a few words away from becoming husband and wife, when she learns the truth. He begs her to stay with him, and she could easily have done so; but she follows her conscience and leaves his house, putting the temptation behind her, although her heart is breaking and she has absolutely nowhere to go. Eventually, everything works out for them, and I'm sure they were both glad they waited.

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In The Golden Thread, Uli von der Flue, a Swiss mercenary, falls in love with the girl Juanita, who is accompanying him on his journey. You would think that he would have low morals as he is a mercenary, but instead of taking advantage of her or even letting her know that he is in love with her, he gets her safely to where she needs to go and makes his own way home. She also loves him and can't understand why they can't get married. It turns out that he has a wife back home, and believes he must remain faithful to her, even though she married someone else when she thought he'd died. When she passes away, Uli is able to go back to Juanita with a clear conscience.







I like having examples of these things, because it is a testament to the good parts of human nature. Even though we have to fight against that part of us that says to only think about ourselves, it is still a fight we can win. It can be extremely hard at the time, but when you look back on it later in life, I know you'll be glad that the decision you made was not sinful and selfish.

What do you guys think? Can you think of more examples from literature or movies/shows? Or even history? Have you read/watched the books and shows from my list? Which is your favorite?

- Maddie