She's Complicated...And So Are You

I am such a complicated person.

Half of the time, no one really knows what's going on inside me, and on the surface I can just look like I want to have a good time doing whatever I feel like and I'll get to whatever is important later. Which is true in a way. But it's not all I'm made of.

I'm an introvert.

I will tell you things in writing that I would never say aloud.

I can look like all I'm doing is staring out the window while my cereal gets soggy in front of me, when in actuality I'm thinking about whether our surroundings shape our personalities or our personalities shape the way we see our surroundings. (And you would never know if I was not writing this.)

I can be crying my eyes out after a simple little argument, but that's not the whole reason why. A lot of the time, that one little fight could be all it takes to send me plummeting over the side of the emotional cliff when it's been a rough day (or week or month or few hours), and then it all just bogs down on me and I can't stop until I've cried about it all.

But to tell you the truth...

I don't even always understand me.

The only reason I'm able to tell you this is because I've thought this all out and tried to figure myself out. And I'm beginning to learn when we say, "God knows you the best," we are speaking truth. I don't think I will or can ever fully understand myself. If that's true, I can't expect myself to fully understand everyone else. And I sure as heck can't expect to understand God Himself fully.

But come to find out...

We don't need to fully understand someone, in order to love them.

Of course, yes, we must understand them as best we can. If I gave a random person on the street a hug and called that love, I'd be deceiving myself. Was that person's love language actually touch? Did they even like hugs? Maybe they would have felt love through words of encouragement. Or service. Or quality time. I can't do any random act for anyone and call it love. In order to love someone, you must find out the way they feel loved, not how much love you feel towards them when you are doing it.

But I don't have to figure it all out before I start to show them love. I don't have to completely comprehend the way their mind works before I can tell them, "You're amazing," or before I do their laundry for them.

So now it's your turn.

You are such a complicated person.

You could either be laughing with me one minute of the day when I make a joke at the "right" time, or if I told it at the "wrong" time, you would tell me it offended you. You can get angry, and I don't even know why. Sometimes, I do something that hurts you, and when I apologize, feeling horrible, you say not to worry about it. Sometimes, you'll "forgive me," but I know you really don't. You can eat the weirdest things, like pickles on popcorn and shrimp and peanut butter and jelly. Sometimes, I just don't get what you mean, even when it seems to make complete sense to you. I don't fully understand you. Sometimes, I don't at all. But I love you. And I know you love me.


Do you find it hard to love people, or to feel loved by people? What are some ways that we can all feel loved?

- Maddie