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Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Thoughts of Love // Part Three




I'm having trouble writing the introduction to this one. I'm not sure why. I guess I think the poem (or whatever you want to call it) itself says pretty much all that I want to say in this post. This part three is mostly about relationships, and about how we sometimes push our true feelings aside when someone asks us how we are, and instead of saying, "I'm not doing too well today. I'm having trouble with...etc.," we say, "I'm fine, how are you?" and don't even expect the other person to answer any different, either. I feel like I do this way too often in my relationships. I tell my coworkers a story and want them to say, "Whoa, that's so cool," but when they tell me a story in return, I try to act like it doesn't affect me, even if it does. I'm not sure why I do that, and I hate it. I don't want anyone to react to me in that, "Cool, but I'm not really interested," way. I like to make people laugh, or feel excited, or gasp in amazement about something that happened to me. I don't always give them the same response, though, and it's not fair. This is something I want to work on. I can't expect to receive something that I have no intention of giving in return. This poem is about wanting to feel something, anything different than the same ol', same ol' feeling that grabs us every so often, and about how maybe we can pull ourselves out of it.


Have you ever wanted to feel 
something different, 
however uncomfortable?

Do you miss your toes tingling
from cold, wrapped in a blanket,
trying to get warm,
and out of nowhere a shiver
shaking your shoulders?

Do you press on your
bruise, not really to see if it
still hurts;
you know it does.
But the dull throb intrigues you?

Do you feel the pull to a new
relationship, and know in your heart
that it won't end the way you'd like it,
but still plunge yourself into it
as deeply as you can,
though it'll mean the pain 
will be that much greater
when it falls apart?

You're human.

We try to tell ourselves we don't care about what happens to us so that we can be more interested in other people. 

But if you aren't excited about what you did today, how can you be excited about someone else's life? 

And when other people aren't interested in each other, we get depressed, because what meaning does our life have if no one appreciates it, not even ourselves?

But the thing is, we're all just pretending.

We do care about our lives and we care about other people. 

We just don't want them to know it. 

Because somehow it's become cool to pretend like nothing phases you, your life is in control, and you don't need emotions, whether sad or joyful, to knock you off balance.

What a lie.

You get bored of anything if you do it too much. 

One of these days, we'll get tired of pretending and share ourselves with each other.


What are your thoughts on this part three? How are you feeling about life at this time? Excited? Anxious? Just kind of blah? I think I'm currently all three at this time, to be honest. :) As always, thanks for reading, please comment below, and have a great week!








- Maddie

9 comments:

  1. Wow, this post is awesome, Maddie.
    I feel like it ties so much into your last post.
    Like, yeah, we're human. We were made to love and be loved. And yet we're so scared of being human, of being vulnerable. But we are. And the less we pretend, the happier we are because we're doing what we were created for.
    And I feel like the more we pretend we don't need other people, the more we think we don't need God either. Like it somehow effects the way we think, even if it's unconscious.
    I'm actually really tired right now and my thoughts are so disjointed 😝. Anyways, can't wait for the next post!

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    1. I think you're right, Mia, especially about the more we think we don't need others, the more we think we don't need God.
      -Meredith :)

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    2. No, what you said makes complete sense, Mia. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to reply! But yeah, I've been noticing that about myself lately: I've been alone a lot lately and it's easy to get wrapped up in myself when no one else is around, and therefore, not as involved in my prayer life, either. You put everything beautifully. <3

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  2. Wow, I totally get what you're talking about! I do the same thing a lot. Thanks so much for sharing this stuff! It takes a lot of courage to admit how you feel, and I admire that you do.
    Love,
    Meredith :)

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    1. Thanks, Sis! It's good to know that you're not alone in your struggles. I love you, too! <3

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  3. Great post Maddie, lots to think about.
    Right now I'm tired and should probably be in bed but I'm reading blogs instead. Cheers!

    God bless,
    ~Ellie

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Ellie! Haha, I do that all too often :)
      P.S. Happy Birthday! :D

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  4. I totally get it Mads, even though I haven't experienced what you're talking about. I'm so glad you are sharing your thoughts and it is really interesting to think about.
    Gee, why can't I had interesting and philosophical posts! All mine are happy-go-lucky-would-you-look-at-that-squirrel! Yeah its wierd. Aaanyway!
    ~E

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    1. Thanks, Esther :) Haha, I love your posts! I think it's definitely okay to write just fun posts, or tags, or whatever you want on your own blog! It's good to have balance, cause if all blogs were super deep, I think they'd feel pretty draining to read!

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Go ahead, I'm listening (but before you ask, no, you cannot have my case of Wonka Bars).